She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
