My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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