we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
