Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Randomize
