I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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