Just fell off a train. Bad.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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