Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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