Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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