There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
