She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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