I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He keeps bees of course he's weird
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
