we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
