hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
