I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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