I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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