i barfeds in our rink
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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