I feel great
I just peed on a car
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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