Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
