I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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