I accidentally had phone sex last night
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All the doctor said was why
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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