Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
