if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
