He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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