one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
