bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
