Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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