I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
