just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
