the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
