Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
