I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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