come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
zippers are such a cool invention
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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