How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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