I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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