rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My balls are so social today.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
