Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize