my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
