After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
