Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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