When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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