i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
