Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
