So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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