i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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