Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
operation harelip BJ is a go
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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