i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
