her vagine was all disorganized.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
