All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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