you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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