Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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