So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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