cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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