i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
