is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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