it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
