I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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