are you still at the devil's house?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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