How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
